Bracket Guy

“Hey bro, what’s happening?

My bracket is absolutely fantastic. You are not going to beat me! No, sir.

Who do you have being upset in the first round? I have UMBC over Georgetown. Nobody is expecting it, but I am. I don’t even know what UMBC stands for. That’s a bank, right?

It’s so sweet to run these office pools. I’ve got another one I’m running with my old brothers from Alpha Delta Tau. We’ve been doing this for 15 years, can you believe it? Man, time flies.

Oh, and I know everyone is trying to go with the chic upset pick of Siena over Vanderbilt, but Vanderbilt was a world-class businessman, and he wouldn’t let a hot chick like Siena take him over.

Oh, and Mississippi Valley State over UCLA. Would you mess with a Delta Devil? Me neither. I didn’t pick them, I just thought maybe I could sway you. Just joshin’ ya…

Anywho, I gotta get back to work. I gotta let this bracket play itself out. I got all four #1 seeds making it to the Final Four. It’s boring, but it’s effective. Did you know a #1 seed makes it to the Final Four every year? I want to have my bases covered. Life’s all about risk mitigation, you know.

You going to the party tomorrow night? I hear Janelle from Accounting will be there. Man, if I wasn’t married… I’d sure give that girl some TOUGH LOVE if you know what I mean...”

Yeah pal, SAME TO YOU.