Cliches We Could All Do Without

By Adam Ruggiero
Love of Sports Correspondent

They’re the jewels in the postgame crown that make us cringe in frustration.

They’re the tidbits of motivational none-speak that make us look to our friend or dog for clarification.

They’re the clichés that have come to dominate the sports lexicon since the advent of television.

In victory or defeat, gladiators today dust off the same nonsensical one-liners their pioneering predecessors belched out after suffering numerous concussions.

This list, by no means complete or definitive, is meant as a guide for future generations of athletic icons. Those un-named heroes should avoid these played-out mumblings and stick to timeless classics like, “Hi Mom!”

Or they could let the spirit of the moment fill them and do like Kevin Garnett – “Anything’s possiblllllllllllllllle!”

Top Clichés We Could Live Without

1. “One Day (Game) at a Time”

Ah, how Zen. It’s great to know our admired athletes live along the same space-time continuum as the rest of us, despite possessing extraordinary physical skill. You may want to stay humble to maintain that underdog mentality, but don’t try to wow us with your existential wisdom.

2. “Thank the Lord”

The only reason this one isn’t topping the list is out of respect for those of genuine, deep-seeded faith. That said, how profoundly arrogant of winning athletes to attribute their success on a ball field to the Almighty’s rooting interest. So, Plaxico, is God a Giants fan? Or did he just need you to come through on his fantasy team after Anquan Boldin went out with a broken sinus? I’m guessing Anquan might have a thing or two to say to the Big Guy about the way his Sunday ended up. Please, reserve your religious convictions for your family, for times of grave peril, or instances when you must save Christmas. I assure you, God isn’t intervening in your two-point conversion.

3. “Backs Against the Wall”

Do you mean literally backs against the proverbial wall? Or were your backs figuratively against the metaphorical wall? Whatever it was, we’ve all heard it before and we don’t want to hear it again. Please, acknowledge you make more money while taping your ankles than any of us will make if we work overtime everyday for the next 150 years and enhance our viewing pleasure by throwing something fresh out there. Tell us you were chased into an alley, facing rabid wolfmen with nowhere to turn until you fought your way free. Sure it’s convoluted, but we’ll all love you for it.

4. “Nobody Believed In Us”

Really, no one? How very lonely you pro athletes must be. If this were true, then we should all be thankful none of us has to deal with the crushing abandonment that a come-from-behind sports franchise must. Even the Rays had a few thousand “believers” and they claim the most anemic following of anybody. Save the pity card and enjoy the win.

5. “We Stayed Hungry”

Have a sandwich. You didn’t win by maintaining some precarious level of malnourishment. More likely, you played within the rules in order to achieve victory numerous times; hunger had nothing to do with it. That is, unless you’re Tayshaun Prince, in which case you probably are truly starving and do need to have a sandwich, and quick.

6. “We Never Gave Up”

On behalf of the millions of other fans who invest their money and time to watch you do your job, thank you. This should go without saying. So, by all means, don’t say it.

7. “It’s Just One of Them Racin’ Deals”

If you aren’t a racing fan, you probably don’t hate this one as much as the rest of us. Every time there’s a wreck, one, two, or all of the guys involved will invoke the “One of them racin’ deals” clauses in their interview. How wonderful it would be to step out of our own car after a fender-bender and tell the attendant police officer, “You know, it was just one of them drivin’ deals. Have a good day.”

8. “We Just Had to Come Out and Play Our Game”

Uh huh. And? What a way to say nothing, yet hint at something truly profound. We know what game you played, but damned if we have any idea what “your game” actually was - or is. Clearly the game the other team played, though technically the same as the one you were playing, was inferior to this mysterious “You” game. Tell us more.

9. “Drink the Kool-Aid”

This is for all the sportscasters out there who toss this euphemism out there to admit they bandwagoned on some hot team. Maybe it’s a little uncouth to make a catch-phrase out of a brainwashing suicide cult?

10. “We Gave It 110 Percent”

Was there any doubt this was the most infamous cliché? I wonder if anybody’s ever lost because they could only muster 104 percent. The rules of every sport should be modified so the team or person with a better score at the end of the allotted game time is declared the winner, UNLESS said team or person claims exertion greater than 100 percent, in which case they forfeit.