Our 2008 NFL Wish List
By Adam Ruggiero
Love of Sports Correspondent
Summer won’t officially end until mid-September, but recent sellouts of every cheap, beaten-up used textbook on college campuses, and the inexplicable appearance of Halloween displays along candy aisles, remind us all that Fall is upon us.
This time also marks the end of almost every athletic spectacle - golf’s Ryder Cup mercifully brings us the final stanza of a Tiger-less PGA season; the U.S. Open provides Roger Federer what may be his last gasp at a major championship; and the mighty Olympics, which delightfully surprised and captivated our entire nation, are nearly forgotten.
For some traditionalists, baseball will carry the torch into a long winter. But for the other 200 million Americans, the NFL’s rise from its excruciating eight-month slumber will be the sole comfort as warm weather and summer fun fade away.
The Love Of NFL not withstanding, there’s good reason to get excited about the 2008 season, which is now officially upon us. Yes, 2007 was truly a fantasy football year in the NFL. Take a look at some of the prominent records that fell last season:
2007’s NFL Records
--The New England Patriots went 18-0 before losing Super Bowl XLII to the New York Giants. Their 16-win regular season was two better than the Dolphins going 14-0 in 1972, and their 18 straight wins was one better than the Dolphins’ “perfect” 17.
--Tom Brady and Randy Moss both set all-time single-season touchdown marks: Brady throws 50 TD passes, Moss catches 23 of them.
--The Patriots score most points in a season (589), allow fewest turnovers (11) and gain the most yards (4,806).
--Brett Favre (you may have heard of him) breaks Dan Marino’s record for career TD passes (420), setting a final mark of 442. He also sets the record for career interceptions (288), passing George Blanda’s 277 along the way.
--Vikings rookie RB Adrian Peterson sets the single-game rushing record with 296 yards.
--Chargers DB Antonio Cromartie sets the record for longest missed-FG return for a TD (109 yards).
--Titans kicker Rob Bironas boots eight field goals against the Houston Texas, setting record for most FGs in a game.
--Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez sets all-time record for career TDs by a tight end (66). He also sets career TE reception record (820; both records formerly held by Shannon Sharpe).
--The Detroit Lions set an NFL record for points scored in the fourth quarter by scoring 34 in a narrow win against the Chicago Bears.
What could possibly top that? Well, here’s my quick 2008 NFL wish list, some items may be more realistic than others, but it never hurts to hope!
Our 2008 NFL Wish List
--Shawne Merriman, after shunning the advice from four out of five surgeons, dentists, optometrists, veterinarians and witch doctors who insist he desperately needs PCL surgery on his knee, caps off a stellar 2008 by sacking the Broncos’ Jay Cutler eight times in the final week of the season. He simultaneously breaks the late Derrick Thomas’ record of seven in a single game and Michael Strahan’s mark for most in a season (22.5), finishing the year with 24. Merriman retires, never has surgery and usurps Michael Flatley as Lord of the Dance with his now quadruple-jointed knees.
--After their 51-45 slugfest last season, the Bengals and Browns clash again in an epic battle that sees numerous records fall. Chad Ocho-Cinco catches six TD passes (a single-game record), as the Bengals out-gun the Browns 85-70, breaking the Bears’ record for most points in a game (73) and demolishing the record for most total points scored (113 in 1966). Johnson’s ego, swelled by the final score, becomes so overwhelmed that no NFL contract is acceptable to him and he retires, changing his name again - to Chad Godman - and becomes a player agent to rival Drew Rosenhaus.
--Ryan Longwell finally lives up to his name and, in the climate-controlled, noise-enhanced, draft-friendly Metrodome – which will likely force the Vikings out of Minnesota to L.A. – kicks a 64-yard field goal, breaking Tom Dempsey’s 63-yard record, set in 1970.
--With a well-paid Larry Fitzgerald on one side of the offense and a highly motivated (if disgruntled) Anquan Boldin on the other, Kurt Warner summons the power of the Almighty once again and keeps Cardinal QB-in-waiting, and beer bong master, Matt Leinart, on the sidelines while somehow guiding the Arizona Cardinals to the NFC championship. There, the Cards put their second-worst all-time playoff record (2-5) up against the New Orleans Saints’ most heinous postseason mark of 2-6. Despite almost five dozen cutaways to Brenda Warner cheering in the stands with her bright pink boa, Kurt and the Cards prove less holy than the Saints and lose the lowest scoring game in history on a safety, 2-0.
--The New England Patriots return with renewed vigor and never-before-seen ferocity as they tear through the league’s weakest schedule (.387 opponent win pct. in ’07) and once again find themselves on the cusp of perfection. Without the giant-killing Giants in their way – thanks to the ransacked defensive line New York suffered in the preseason – Bill “Lord of the Sith” Belichick literally storms into Tampa Bay (host of Super Bowl XLIII), bringing with him gale-force winds and driving rain. The Patriots win 15-7, one point better than the ’72 Dolphins’ 14-7 defeat of the Washington Redskins. This year, the champagne stays on ice, and coach Don Shula and his annual celebration committee vanish in a wash of blinding white light, transcending into NFL immortality … where we never have to hear about their record ever again.
What a season it’s going to be!
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