Ten Ways Holdouts Spend Their Time

By E. Spencer Kyte
Love of Sports Correspondent

I’ve never understood the purpose of athletes holding out.

While a guy like Steven Jackson doesn’t have to worry that someone as good or better than him is going to come in and blow the Rams coaching staff away during training camp, he does lose valuable reps in practice and makes himself look like a greedy, spoiled athlete who isn’t satisfied with the millions of dollars he’s already making.

He’d like to make a million and three.

The other thing that’s always struck me is what these guys do while they’re holding out. I mean, they’re missing camp time and the season is quickly approaching, so what could be more important than being at camp, even if it’s just going through the motions?

Things To Do While Holding Out

10. Get Healthy

Not playing in the preseason means not taking those extra couple bumps that add up over the course of the year. For a guy like Steven Jackson who has had problems staying on the field, his holdout offers a chance to get his body in optimal physical condition for the day he returns to work. And don’t kid yourself – who really thought he wouldn’t be back to work before the season began?

9. Fantasy Football Drafts

You know NFL players love this stuff just as much as you and me, right? While their teammates are out doing two-a-days, holdouts can be sitting at home filling out their rosters and preranking their fellow players.

8. Buying a Bigger Wallet

Since the purpose of a holdout is to secure more money, wouldn’t that also mean that a bigger wallet would be in order?

7. Learning About Contracts

Apparently, no one who holds out understands that when you put your signature on a document it’s a binding agreement between the two parties. Nowhere in there does it say, “This agreement is null and void as soon as the player believes they are underpaid.” The team doesn’t get to walk away from the deal when you suddenly get Shaun Alexander Syndrome, so why shouldn’t you have to honor your end of the bargin?

6. Coming Up With Better Excuses

When the guy with a mansion, four cars, diamond everything and more money than I’ll see in 20 lifetimes tells the media he’s just trying to get what he deserves, I want to throw up. Same goes for the “trying to provide for my family” line. I’m quite sure the millions you’ve already earned would be sufficient. At least come out and say you think it’s ridiculous you make less money than (insert appropriate player here) for once.

5. Studying Game Film

You may not be at practice or training with the team, but one way to prove you’re worth all the money is to actually show it on the field. So, with all the spare time on your hands, why not grab the DVD remote and scour over film of all the teams you’re going to be playing to find ways to maximize your performance on the field? You know – find a way to earn yourself more money, instead of just pouting and saying it’s not fair.

4. Have a Cup of Coffee With a Guy Like Deacon Jones

Or Jack Lambert. Or any Old School NFLer for that matter. Tell them how you think it’s not fair you only make $6 million a year and see how far that gets you. These are dudes who played their hearts out week in and week out before you were even a glimmer in your parents’ eyes and they did it for peanuts compared to what guys make now.

3. Go to Canton, Ohio

Walk through the Hall of Fame. Read the stories of the men who are enshrined there. Think about how they got there, the careers they had, the accomplishments they achieved. Then remember you can’t do any of that while your ass is sitting on the couch waiting for your team to give you more money.

2. Work at McDonalds

Not in a Mark Cuban working at Dairy Queen kind of way, either. Seriously, go get a McJob somewhere and then tell me how horrible your life is in the NFL or NBA. How unfair it is you’re not one of the five highest paid wide receivers in the league or that your rookie deal is far less than some other guy’s. Have a family of screaming youngsters and stressed out parents standing in front of you fighting over what drink to get with their Happy Meal and you’ll long for the two-a-days in no time.

1. QUIT BEING AN IDIOT AND GET BACK TO WORK!

The guy holding out always comes back before the season starts. Always. So, why even bother in the first place? Get to work and let the rest figure itself out.

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