The Best Names in Baseball History

By Andy Fajardo
Love of Sports Correspondent

One of the responsibilities that comes with having children is figuring out what they’re going to be called.

Some parents either lack any creativity or love their own names so much they take the easy road and name their kids after themselves (i.e. George Foreman).

Other parents feel obligated to ruin any shot their children may have at succeeding in having a normal life and give them names like the ones you are about to read below. One thing to keep in mind while reading this is the adversity these actual people overcame in making it in the tough world of sports. Enjoy!

Best Names in Baseball History

OF - Coco Crisp, Boston ‘02-Present: His parents were big fans of the cereal.

OF - Rusty Kuntz, Detroit ’79-85: His brother’s name is Huge G.

OF - Kosuke Fukudome, Chicago, Present: He’s not asking you to do him. He’s demanding you to! Hasn’t even played a game yet, but had to qualify anyhow.

OF - Johnny Dickshot, Pittsburgh ’36-45: Enough said.

1B - Pete LaCock, Kansas City ‘72-80:  His dad hosted Hollywood Squares for 15 years. The elder LaCock introduced the phrase “LaCock-Block” into the American lexicon by yelling it out whenever contestants would prevent their opponents from winning.

IF - “Pebbly” Jack Glasscock- Cleveland 1879-1895: “Pebbly” hehehe…

P - Catfish Hunter, New York, ’65-79: Had an uncle named Beaver.

P - Boof Bonser, Minnesota, ’06-Present: His parents’ first choice was Zoinks, but settled for the more appropriate Boof.

P - Dick Pole, Seattle, ’73-78: If being named Dick Pole wasn’t bad enough, the dude retired due to injuries he suffered from being hit in the head by a line drive. The shot broke his jaw and caused him to lose 90 percent of the vision in one eye. So, there’s a reason why this Dick only uses one eye.

Honorable Mention: Rollie Fingers, Homer Bush and Milton Bradley.