Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Workout Songs

by Richard Diaz
Love of Sports Listologist

Finding time to work out can be tricky.

For many of us, the transition from scholar to working adult typically comes at the cost of losing whatever workout routine had existed, if any. The grind of the daily nine-to-five is usually enough to drain the average person of any will to walk, run, lift or stretch.

While a minority of the general population can easily wake up an hour early to hit the local park for a run, the rest of us don’t exactly find that very pleasing, to say the least.

However, when the itch to work out hits a level that requires scratching, there’s one necessity.

Not clothing accessories. Not the lucky socks you were wearing when you met this incredibly hot uber-athlete during your last workout.Not the lovable pet that doubles as a secret agent while you’re on a classified scouting mission for other single dog walkers.

Those might come in handy, but what I’m talking about is that top secret playlist hidden deep within your iPod or Zune that only comes to life for your faux-athletic endeavor. Similar to a ThinkPad, accessing said music might require a fingerprint, because it’s within this list that we all hide our musical skeletons.

In this case, those skeletons are the ones we break out to get the exercise juices flowing. They’re songs of inspiration and motivation. They’re songs that we know all the words to. We sing them when no one is looking, and only admit to knowledge of them within the Robert DeNiro-esque ‘circle of trust.’ So without further ado, here’s my take on the Top 10 Workout Songs that you’ll never admit to loving.

10. “Break the Ice” by John Farnham

If you’re a product of the 80’s like me, odds are you’ll have an immediate BMX flashback after reading that song title. Rad was a flick that made every kid on the block want a BMX bike, and as one of the film’s main songs, “Break the Ice” still works as a fantastically cheesy workout song.

9. “I am a Real American” by Rick Derringer

“When it comes crashing down, and it hurts inside,
ya’ gotta take a stand, it don’t help to hide,
Well, you hurt my friends, and you hurt my pride,
I gotta be a man; I can’t let it slide,
I am a real American, Fight for the rights of every man,
I am a real American, fight for what’s right, fight for your life!”

Don’t deny it, you know you’ve got one hand cupped to your ear and are secretly flexing imaginary 24-inch pythons. It’s the song that launched Hulkamania, and it continues to whip fans into a frenzy when ever Mr. Hogan makes an appearance. Aside from that, it’s a great piece of workout music for anyone that’s ever been a “Hulkamaniac.”

8. “Techno Syndrome” by The Immortals

Better known as the Moral Kombat theme, this is quite possibly the best non-Prodigy techno song ever. I remember pretending not to like it because techno didn’t mix with the “cool” hip-hop crowd. Years later, its upbeat tempo is a must for any workout playlist.

7. “I need a Hero” by Bonnie Taylor

Ah yes, who could forget the sounds from “Footloose,” or for younger readers, the sounds from “Shrek?” It’s a quintessential song that no guy will admit to having, and the perfect song to for bouncing back from a rough break-up. After all, a typical reaction to being dumped is getting back into pre-dating shape and what better theme than one asking “where have all the good men gone?”

6. “Chariots of Fire” by Vangelis

I dare you to find a better track to fill the role of being the grand finale of any workout.

5. “The Final Countdown” by Europe

Another classic from 1986, this one comes to us from the Swedish hard rock band Europe. Coming off their 3x Platinum record of the same name, this one is a must as you hit the home stretch of your workout. Even though it’s been safely stored in that secret playlist, don’t be surprised to hear a child singing the tune, thanks to the commercials for “Mario and Sonic at the Olympic games.”

4. “Push it to the Limit” by Paul Engelmann

I know the younger folks are more likely to jam to the Rick Ross version, but truth be told, that can’t compare to this classic from a classic. Aside from reminding us all of Tony’s rise to fame, its got all of the cheesy 80’s ingredients, including the best xylophone solo you’ll ever workout to.

3. “One Vision” by Queen / “Highway to the Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins

Both are from action packed flight sequences that Hollywood no longer knows how to make. We all know the Loggins classic from “Top Gun,” but of equal greatness is the Queen song from its stepbrother, “Iron Eagle.” Each song will put you in the cockpit and rev you up for a long run, or what ever else you might encounter during a typical workout.

2. “You’re the Best” by Joe Esposito

“Try to be best
‘Cause you’re only a man
And a man’s gotta learn to take it

Never doubt that you’re the one
And you can have your dreams!”

…..Okay, now that you’re done singing the chorus, I doubt there’s any need for further explanation. I defy you to tell me this one doesn’t make you want to stand up and kick something.

1. Anything from Rocky I - IV

This really can’t be a surprise to anyone. From “Burning Heart” and “Eye of the Tiger,” to “Gonna Fly Now” and “Going the Distance,” there’s no doubting that these are the songs you’ll want to hear while working out. They’re not the hippest songs around, and the lyrics are as cornball as they come, but still, they’re guaranteed to bring Rocky to mind. From there, you’ll remember the classic training montages and have more than enough motivation to do anything.

HONORABLE MENTION

“Fight to Survive” by Stan Bush is pretty much known as the theme from Bloodsport. It’s definitely worth a listen if you’ve never heard it.

“Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project is a great piece to have for the beginning of a workout. You’ll probably recognize it as the entrance theme for a team that dominated the NBA in the 90’s.

“Hungry Eyes” by Richard Marx is the least manly song on the list. It comes from a classic 80’s training montage within a chick-flick, and that alone says enough.

Well, that’s what I’m bringing to the table. I know the songs will bring back memories, just as I’m sure readers will feel free to indulge their own.

Heck, at least we’ll have a great playlist when all is said and done.

But shhh, don’t tell.