Top 15 Things We Miss From The ‘80s

By Paulie Knep
Love of Sports Correspondent

The 1980s were an exciting decade of change, progress, prosperity and excess in the United States.

We were introduced to music videos, personal computers, E.T., Mr. T, video games, rap music, tons of hairspray, Eddie Murphy and Michael Jordan.

With the advent of new systems, styles, techniques, personalities and traditions, we inevitably bid farewell to some of the old ones.

These are 15 things I miss from the world of sports in the ‘80s.

15) NFL Coaches In Suits

When I think of NFL coaches, I think of leaders of men like Tom Landry, Chuck Noll, Mike Ditka and Don Shula roaming the sidelines with a suit on. I don’t want to see the guy calling the shots for my team with a stretched out team sweatshirt hanging over his gut. If he’s wearing a suit, at least he looks like he knows what he’s doing.

14) NBA Goggles

They were a staple of the NBA during the ‘80s and were nearly certain to guarantee success. Surely, it’s not a coincidence that three of the games all-time greats - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, James Worthy and Moses Malone - donned the goggles. They even helped Kurt Rambis win a few rings.

13) Tobacco

I know, it’s a disgusting habit and a bad example for children, but there was something so intimidating about a dangerous slugger stepping to the plate with a big wad tucked into the side of his mouth, spewing out juices in between pitches. As kids, we loved to emulate our favorite ballplayers by packing a wad of Big League Chew into our cheek.

12) Old School Rams Uniforms

Many teams have changed their uniforms over the past 20 years - none worse so than the Rams. If Flipper Anderson looked that smooth in those old Blue and Yellow jerseys, imagine how slick Torry Holt would look busting down the sideline.

11) Mustaches

For baseball players like Goose Gossage, Don Mattingly, Dennis Eckersley, Keith Hernandez and Wade Boggs, their mustache was like part of their uniforms. Other memorable staches could be found on the upper lips of Hulk Hogan, Walter Payton and Lanny McDonald. These days, we’re reduced to Adam Morrison’s pathetic attempt at facial hair.

10) Jack Buck

The absence of the legendary voice of the St. Louis Cardinals is magnified every World Series by the presence of his far-less talented son, Joe. Jack Buck was one of the old-time baseball announcers who have been rendered obsolete by changes in the way the game is covered. Announcers like Harry Caray, Vin Scully and Phil Rizzuto felt like they were a part of our family.

9) Helmetless Hockey Players

There was just something cool about seeing a guy cruise around the ice with his mullet flapping in the wind. You knew the guys who weren’t wearing helmets were really tough, or really crazy. Either way, you respected it.

8) Baseball Cards

Who needs a card when you can get all the information you want about a player on the internet? Sorry, but Googling a player’s statistics doesn’t compare to the excitement a kid feels when he rips open a pack of cards in hopes of finding his favorite player’s face. Internet searches also don’t come with a six-month old piece of gum, and you can’t trade them with your friends.

7) American Tennis Stars

Jimmy Connors’ and John McEnroe’s brilliant play and emotional expression made them two of the most exciting tennis players ever. They also had the perfect Cold War archnemesis in Ivan “Drago” Lendl. On the women’s side, Chris Evert was the Queen of courts for many years. Now the best we can do is Andy Roddick? Yikes.

6) Four Years of College Ball

Remember when great college basketball players stayed in school for four years? Kids learned to play together and improved as a team. They were taught the fundamentals of the game, resulting in better quality of play at the collegiate and professional levels. College basketball was also easier to follow, because there was continuity from season to season.

5) Barefoot Kickers

During the 1980s, there were a few barefoot kickers in the NFL, including Tony Franklin and Rich Karlis. Nobody understood why they did it, but it was always fun to imagine how much pain they were in after they kicked off, especially on a cold day in December.

4) Real Slam Dunk Contests

Dwight Howard brought excitement back to the dunk contest this year, but it still didn’t compare to the legendary battles between Dominique and Jordan. In the ‘80s, all the league’s best dunkers participated. Imagine how great it would’ve been if LeBron, Kobe and Vince Carter all joined this year’s participants.

3) Miss Elizabeth

Unlike the scantily dressed vixens of today’s WWE, the former first lady of the WWF was all class. The beautiful Miss Elizabeth never revealed too much and was always loyal to her “Macho Man.” George “The Animal” Steele wasn’t the only one dreaming about stealing her away.

2) Boxing

Hagler-Hearns - Leonard-Duran - Tyson-Spinks

Big-time prize fights were the most highly anticipated events in all of sports during the ‘80s. They were a great excuse to have a bunch of friends over for a party. In fact, many of us remember where we were for specific fights back then. Especially those involving Mike Tyson. Now the average sports fan can name a handful of boxers and ultimate fighting receives more publicity.

1) Mid-Summer Classic

Baseball’s All-Star Game used to be one of the most exciting nights of the year for sports fans. Prior to the internet, a myriad of highlight shows and interleague play, the All-Star Game provided fans with the opportunity to watch All-Stars from other cities, especially players from the other league. Prior to interleague play, the contrasting styles of the leagues added a level of intrigue and bragging rights were on the line.

HONORABLE MENTION: Mid-range jump-shots, Organ players, Non-corporate stadium names, Manute Bol, Hot-head managers, Yannick Noah’s hair