Top Sports Movie Quotes
By Richard Diaz
Love of Sports Correspondent
Compiling a list of the all-time greatest sports movies shouldn’t be a difficult task to accomplish.
Most fans could probably do so without giving it much thought. What’s more is that everyone’s list will generally include very similar titles.
Whether that’s because fans of such movies share a common interest, or whether it’s simply due to a lack of options is irrelevant. For the most part, these films generally fall into one of very few sub-categories. But for all intents and purposes, we either watch them to laugh or to be inspired.
Even though a vast majority of fans will generally agree on the all-time greats, I can’t help but wonder why? I mean, one or two of them might be worth of cinematic praise, but aside from that, none of them are so cinematically superb that they should be cherished the world over. So again, I found myself wondering what it was about the great ones that made them so memorable?
And then I remembered that “Being No. 1 is everything. There is no second place. Second sucks.”
Yeah, that line was from the arm-wrestling classic, Over the Top. I’ve quoted that craptacular classic, because it reminded me of why the great ones are what they are.
So, along that same line of thought, here’s a look at my all-time favorite quotes from the sports classics we’ve all seen and love.
BEST SPORTS MOVIE QUOTES
15. Rocky IV (1985) - “I must break you.”
14. Rudy (1993) - “You’re five-foot nothin’, 100-and-nothin’, and you have nearly a speck of athletic ability. And you hung in there with the best college football team in the land for two years. And you’re gonna walk outta here with a degree from the University of Notre Dame. In this life, you don’t have to prove nothin’ to nobody but yourself.”
13. Major League (1989) - (13a) - Willie: “Willie Mays Hayes here. I hit like Mayes, and I run like Hayes.” - Coach: “You may run like Hayes, but you hit like shit.” - (13b) - “Juuuuust a bit outside.” - (13c) - “Up your butt, Jobu.”
12. Remember the Titans (2000) - “We will be perfect in every aspect. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You make a fumble, I will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile ... Perfection!”
13. Sandlot (1993) - “You know, if my dog were as ugly as you, I’d shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.”
12. Jerry Maguire (1996) - (12a) “I love black people!!” - (12b) - “You had me at ‘Hello’.” - (12c) - “Show me the money!!”
11. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) - “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.”
10. Seabiscuit (2003) - “The horse is too small, the jockey too big, the trainer too old and I’m too dumb to know the difference.”
9. Happy Gilmore (1996) - “The price is wrong, Bitch!”
8. The Natural (1984) - “When I walked down the street, people would’ve looked and they would’ve said ‘There goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.’”
7. Hoosiers (1986) - “If you give everything you have, I don’t care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game. In my book, we’re gonna be winners.”
6. Bull Durham (1988) - (6a) “I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents on Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” - (6b) - “Relax, all right? Don’t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring. Besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some groundballs. It’s more democratic.”
5. The Karate Kid (1984) - (5a) - “Sweep the leg.” - (5b) - “Wax on; Wax off.”
4. Rocky (1976) - (4a) “You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!” - (4b) - “Yo, Adrian!”
3. A League of Their Own (1992) - “There’s no crying in baseball!”
2. Field of Dreams (1989) - (2a) - “If you build it, he will come.” - (2b) - John: “Is this heaven?” - Ray: “No, it’s Iowa.”
1. Caddyshack (1980) - (1a) - “I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ‘em you’re Jewish, OK? All right.” - (1b) - “You’ll get nothing and like it.” - (1c) - “This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ahhh, Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. Here, I’ve got pounds of this.” - (1d) - “This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta nowhere, a former greenskeeper, now – about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mira….. It’s in the hole!”
HONORABLE MENTION
The Pride of the Yankees (1942) - “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.”
Knute Rockne – All-American (1940) - “Tell ‘em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.”
Brian’s Song (1971) - “I love Brian Piccolo. And tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to love him.”
Well folks, that’s what I’m bringing to the table. I resisted my typical urge to ad lib and just let the greatness of those lines speak for themselves. Now I’ll sit back and wait for the inevitable “How could I miss” additions to roll on in.
Comments
Tradi's on 04/30 at 08:56 PM
Rudy? Pleeeeeeeeeez. I’d rather listen to my toilet flush repeatedly that watch that piece of duece.
Spain on 04/30 at 09:25 PM
For Love of the Game:
Gus Sinski: The boys are all here for ya, we’ll back you up, we’ll be there, cause, Billy, we don’t stink right now. We’re the best team in baseball, right now, right this minute, because of you. You’re the reason. We’re not gonna screw that up, we’re gonna be awesome for you right now. Just throw.
Billy Chapel: Clear the mechanism!
Billy Chapel: Tell them I’m through, “for love of the game”
Mike A on 05/01 at 01:35 AM
What? Leaving out Bill Murray saying “So I jumped ship in Hong Kong… made my way to Tibet..”
Gary on 05/01 at 01:42 AM
Happy Gilmore: Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a [expletive].
CG on 05/01 at 02:29 AM
Awesome. Love the Major League quotes. I can quote that movie all day long. “Son, we wear caps and sleeves at this level.”
Brad on 05/01 at 03:06 AM
Can’t forget one of my favorite from Major League: Cerrano, in reference to Dorn’s head covers (for golf clubs, naturally): “Hats for bats...keep bats waaarm.”
Jon on 05/01 at 05:23 AM
What about “Necessary Roughness”??? Robert Loggia is awesome by HIMSELF!!
1. “If this wasn’t friggin’ astroturf, I’d dig a grave for myself.”
2. (After Hector Alanzo says “at least we have the home field advantage") Loggia replies, “the alamo was the home field.”
3. (During his halftime speech) “You go out there, you tear the f’n heads off, and you sh*t down their necks!!! Let’s pray.
4. I don’t wanna put any undue pressure on you guy’s, but Coach Generro’s last words were, “win, or i’ll die”.
Classic...just classic...and I am sure I am leaving some out…
WT on 05/01 at 05:25 AM
Major League +1
“Give ‘em the heater, Ricky.”
ben on 05/01 at 05:25 AM
terrible list. the movie selection was fine although the quotes were second rate, almost every movie had a superior quote you forgot. i.e. the dali lama monologue from caddyshack...you suck
Jeff on 05/01 at 05:27 AM
Rocky III i think - Mr T: “Prediction? Pain”
Joe on 05/01 at 05:31 AM
“So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.”
bill on 05/01 at 05:31 AM
i agree with Mike A, the bill murray dahli lama quote “gunha ga loonga...” was the most memorable.
and for the karate kid “put them in the body bag Johnny” was tops
Brad on 05/01 at 05:32 AM
Major League: Willie “I knew we should have got a live chicken...”
John on 05/01 at 05:32 AM
Everybody is just on their feet screaming “Kill! Kill! Kill!” This is hockey!--Slapshot
Chris on 05/01 at 05:32 AM
Slapshot- They brought their f@#kin toys
Den on 05/01 at 05:32 AM
There’s no cryin in baseball.
Justin on 05/01 at 05:35 AM
What about Pacino’s speech to fire up the team before the Miami Sharks played the Dallas Knights in Any Given Sunday??? That’s the most inspiring piece of on-screen literature I’ve ever heard!
lawnboy on 05/01 at 05:36 AM
Enjoyed the list, but would love to have seen some lines from Pacino’s “locker room speech” from “Any Given Sunday”.
jb on 05/01 at 05:46 AM
Bull Durham - The locker room “lolly gaggers,” speech.
Miller on 05/01 at 05:47 AM
Tough to leave Chevy Chase’s classic lines to Judge Smaels..."How do you measure yourself against other golfers?” Chase, “ By height”...and the ever classic, “you know, Ty, I’m no slouch myself”, Chase, “ don’t sell yourself short, Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch”....
phil on 05/01 at 05:48 AM
Caddyshack: Dangerfield, “hey, we’re all gonna get laid!”. Brian Doyle-Murray: “pick up that blood!”, “fifty dollars says he eats it!” and “it’s your honor, your Honor”.
Xmas Ape on 05/01 at 05:48 AM
“...I’m not your kid brother....I play defensive end for the Purdue!”
J on 05/01 at 05:49 AM
What about quotes from “The Program?”
1. I can spell. See this shoe. It says ADIDAS
2. Lets put the women and children to bed and go looking for F$@&#xin;g dinner.
3. Starting defense. Place at the table
Just to name a few
Harv on 05/01 at 05:49 AM
Brewster’s Millions (Not a true sports movie, but it has my favorite quote ever.)
Jerry Orbach as Charlie (Manager of the Hackensack Bulls) - O’Henrihan, you’re not a farmer. You’re not supposed to swing at shit in the dirt.
Jerry Orbach - RIP (Law & Order misses you.)
Michael on 05/01 at 05:50 AM
Bad News Bears. Tanner: “Hey Yankees! You can take your apology, and your trophy, and stick it up you ass!”
Richard on 05/01 at 05:53 AM
I can’t disagree with any of the comments, especially when it comes to “Jump ship in Hong Kong...” That’s beauty of all this, everyone adds a little something and everyone wins.
How about Rocky III, with either “I pity the fool” or “The ultimate male versus the ultimate meatball”
Reed Burgess on 05/01 at 05:54 AM
a few more to add
Major League 2 “he’ll need a rocket up his (expletive) to get to that one”
Happy Gilmore “you hit that guy!” “He shouldn’t have been standing there”
Major League “are you trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?”
Don Kubicki on 05/01 at 05:59 AM
What about Slap Shot- “Trade me right f**king now”
adam on 05/01 at 05:59 AM
i dont know what to say,really…
3 minutes...to the biggest battle of our professional lives...all comes down to today…
Either, we heal, as a team, or we’re gonna crumble...inch by inch, play by play...to we’re finished, we’re in hell right now, gentlemen...believe me…
and...we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us...or… we can fight our way back...into the light...we can climb outta hell...one inch at a time...now, i cant do it for you...im too old...i look around, i see this young faces,and i think...i mean,i’ve made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make...I...eh...I pissed away all my money, believe it or not...i chased off anyone’s who’s ever loved me...and lately,I cant even stand the face I see in the mirror...you know, when you get old in life,things get taken from you...well thats....thats part of life...but, you only learn that,when you start losing stuff...you find out, life’s a game of inches...so is football...because, in either game,life or fottball,the margin for error is so small, i mean, one half a step too late, or too early, and you dont quite make it, one half second too slow, too fast, you dont quite catch it, the inches we need are everywhere around us… they’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second....on this team, we fight for that inch… on this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us, to pieces for that inch...we claw with our fingernails for that inch...because we know,when we head up all those inches,thats gonna make the fucking difference, between winning and losing!
Between living and dying!! I’ll tell you this: in any fight, its the guy who’s willing to die,who’s gonna win that inch...and I know, if im gonna have any life anymore...Its because I’m still willing to fight and die for that inch...because, thats what living is! The six inches in front of your face...!! now, i cant make you do it, you gotta look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes!now, i think you’re gonna see a guy, who will go that inch with you...You’re gonna see a guy, who will sacrifice himself, for this team, because he knows, when it comes down to it, you’re gonna do the same for him… Thats a team, gentlemen...and, either we heal,NOW, as a team, or we will die...as individuals...thats football, guys...thats all it is...now, what are you gonna do?
Matt on 05/01 at 06:00 AM
“Now you start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass!!”
“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.”
~League of their own
Joe on 05/01 at 06:04 AM
Rocky movie
Hospital scene: Adrian in the hospital: She whispers to Rocky “Can you do one thing for me… Win” Rocky looks to Mick, who says “What are we waiting for?”
What a moment. Play that for your team before a game and watch the destroy the opponent.
Darrell on 05/01 at 06:04 AM
What, nothing from the Waterboy? Nothing about M’M’M’Mama?
Thierry Nihill on 05/01 at 06:07 AM
SlapShot:
“OLD TIME HOCKEY! OLD TIME HOCKEY! EDDIE SHORE!”
~ The Hanson Brothers
“Scouts?”
~ Reg Dunlop
“What are you guys doing?” “FOILIN’ UP, SIR!”
- Reg Dunlop and the Hansons
steve on 05/01 at 06:09 AM
Rollerball (the original): “No man is greater than the game itself.”
MJ on 05/01 at 06:10 AM
Bull Durham: “Candlesticks always make a nice gift”
Joe on 05/01 at 06:11 AM
Happy Gilmore:
Shooter says to Happy… “I eat sh*t like you for breakfast”
Happy replies… “You eat sh*t for breakfast?”
Harry Doyle on 05/01 at 06:11 AM
“Post game report brought to you by… Christ I can’t find to hell with it.”
“One hit, that’s all we had one God Damn hit”
Richard on 05/01 at 06:12 AM
Ah yes, the Waterboy.... “Now that’s what I call high quality H2O” or “We suck again” are truly hilarious!
Bill on 05/01 at 06:14 AM
You forgot this gem from A League of Their Own:
Jimmy Dugan: Evelyn, could you come here for a second? Which team do you play for?
Evelyn Gardner: Well, I’m a Peach.
Jimmy Dugan: Well I was just wonderin’ why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.
Joe on 05/01 at 06:15 AM
Happy Gilmore:
To kid caddy: “where were you on that one dip sh*t”
To ball on putting green: “Go home Ball”
“Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap”
Rob on 05/01 at 06:17 AM
Sandlot: “You’re killing me Smalls”
Bull Durham: “Don’t think, just throw” and “Charlie, here comes the deuce. And when you speak of me, speak well’
Happy Gilmore: “Somebody’s closer” and “I eat pieces of sh@# like you for breakfast!” “You eat pieces of sh@# for breakfast?”
Joe on 05/01 at 06:23 AM
Bill Baker: These guys ever smile?
Jack O’Callahan: They’re Russians. They get shot if they smile.
Herb Brooks: When you pull on that jersey, the name on the front is a hell of alot more important than the one on the back.
Joe on 05/01 at 06:24 AM
The movie Miracle - 2004
Bill Baker: These guys ever smile?
Jack O’Callahan: They’re Russians. They get shot if they smile.
Herb Brooks: When you pull on that jersey, the name on the front is a hell of alot more important than the one on the back.
Bob on 05/01 at 06:28 AM
Jack Warden in ‘The Replacements’:
“I’ve seen monkey-sh*t fights at the zoo that are more organized than this.”
John on 05/01 at 06:28 AM
Slap shot is the best:
Reggie Dunlop: You know, your son looks like a fag to me.
Anita McCambridge: I beg your pardon?
Reggie Dunlop: You better get re-married again, or he’s gonna have someone’s cock in his mouth before you can say Jack Robinson.
Anita McCambridge: How dare you! How dare you!
bellis on 05/01 at 06:33 AM
Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
Larry: Lollygaggers!
Skip: Lollygaggers
Zack on 05/01 at 06:37 AM
The Terrance Mann baseball speech from “Field of Dreams” belongs alone at the top of this list. Caddyshack has too many great lines that some are bound to be missing.
DC on 05/01 at 06:38 AM
That’s the quote from Rocky 4? Not: “If he dies, he dies”?
The Dude on 05/01 at 06:39 AM
One of my personal favorites from Mr. Baseball:
We’re not athletes, we’re baseball players!
Joe on 05/01 at 06:40 AM
Major League: “Come on Dorn, get in front of the ball, don’t give me this “ole’” bullshit.”
Six Pack: “Where’s your driver?” He’s out drainin the lizard”
Days of Thunder- “We’re eating iced cream”
scott on 05/01 at 06:41 AM
“lollygaggers” from Bull Durham is the greatest ever.
Jon on 05/01 at 06:41 AM
The best one form the Sandlot would be “ Your killing me Smalls!”
happy on 05/01 at 06:43 AM
“What’s this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?”
“I didn’t break it, I was merely testing its durability, and I placed it in the woods cause it’s made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.” -Happy Gilmore
Chris on 05/01 at 06:43 AM
Old man Harris in Major League:
“are you trying to tell me that Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?”
Adam on 05/01 at 06:44 AM
No White Men Can’t Jump quotes??!!!
Sidney: You see Billy its like this, you either smoke or you get smoke. And you got smoked.
Billy: You are so stupid. It would take your mother 1, no 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Sidney: Billy, I have for words for you: “Listen to the women”.
Dan on 05/01 at 06:44 AM
Or Nick Nolte in Blue Chips: “You’re going to go out there and you’re going to play better than you ever believed possible because, dammit, that’s what I demand of you!”
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 06:45 AM
Ducks fly together.
Justin on 05/01 at 06:46 AM
A League of Their Own:
Dottie: “It just got too hard.”
Jimmy: “That’s what make’s it great, if it were easy everyone would do it!!!”
matt on 05/01 at 06:47 AM
Miracle:
Craig Patrick: You’re missing the best players.
Herb Brooks: I’m not looking for the best players, Craig, I’m lookin’ for the right ones.
Mike Eruzione: Mike Eruzione! Winthrop, Massachusettes!
Herb Brooks: Who do you play for?
Mike Eruzione: I play for the United States of America!
Herb Brooks: A bruise on the leg is a hell of a long way from the heart, candy ass.
Rob McClanahan: What’d you call me?
Herb Brooks: You heard me!
Rob McClanahan: You want me to play huh? Is that what you want?
Herb Brooks: I want you to be a hockey player!
Rob McClanahan: I AM A HOCKEY PLAYER! YOU WANT ME TO PLAY ON ONE LEG? HUH? I’LL PLAY ON ONE LEG!
Herb Brooks: [walking out of the locker room with McClanahan still screaming] That’ll get him going.
Craig Patrick: O yeah. I’ll clean up!
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 06:48 AM
Shooter McGavin: Just stay out of my way or you’ll pay, listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: Hey, why don’t I just go and eat some hay. I can lay by the bay, make things out of clay, I just may, what’d ya say?
Rich on 05/01 at 06:49 AM
The Program:
“Let’s put the women and children to bed early, and go looking for dinner”.
Steve on 05/01 at 06:50 AM
Major League - Lou - “We won one yesterday. We win one today, that’s two in a row. We win one tomorrow, that’s three in a row, that’s called ‘A WINNING STREAK’.... It has happened before.”
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 06:50 AM
Chubbs: Back in 1965, Sports Illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah? What happened?
Chubbs: They wouldn’t let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Happy Gilmore: Ah, I’m sorry. Because you’re black?
Chubbs: Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my hand off!
Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 06:52 AM
Jake La Motta from Raging Bull: You punch like you take it up the ass.
joe on 05/01 at 06:52 AM
nothing from rookie of the year? “funky butt-lovin!” “did he say funky butt-lovin?” also left out from the major league II quotes were many gems by rube baker: “they’re gonna send me back to iowa and i don’t even live there.” “i couldn’t hit sand if i fell off a camel.” “you want the pitcher to pitch from second base?”
Hasan on 05/01 at 06:54 AM
“You are next” - Bloodsport
Dave Charles on 05/01 at 06:54 AM
Rocky 1 - “Cut me Mick, cut me”.
Matthew L on 05/01 at 06:54 AM
From Hoosiers:
Coach Dale: “What’s gotten into you?
Strap: “The Lord, I can feel his strength.”
Coach Dale: “Well keep your strength in the dribble.”
Dean Youngblood on 05/01 at 06:56 AM
“Let’s go ... pretty boy.”
-Youngblood
Tin Cup on 05/01 at 06:57 AM
Tin Cup: “Keep shooting pars, asshole!”
Dave Simms: “I’ll take 18 of them, all day long!”
Tin Cup: “Do it and I’ll own you.”
“You know why I still hit that shot?” “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.”
Romeo: “Look, boss, I only got one rule. And that’s never bet money that you don’t have on a dog race with an ex-girlfriend who happens to be a stripper.”
moe on 05/01 at 06:57 AM
slap shot--
Reggie Dunlop: Oh you cheap son of a bitch. Are you crazy? Those guys are retards!
McGrath: I got a good deal on those boys. The scouts said they showed a lot of promise.
Reggie Dunlop: They brought their fuckin’ TOYS with ‘em!
McGrath: Well, I’d rather have em playin with their toys than playin with themselves
Reggie Dunlop: They’re too dumb to play with themselves. Boy, every piece of garbage that comes into the market and you gotta buy it!
McGrath: Reg, Reg, that reminds me. I was coachin’ in Omaha in 1948 and Eddie Shore sends me this guy who was a terrible masturbator, you know, couldn’t control himself. Why, he would get deliberate penalties so he could get over in the penalty box all by himself and damned if he wouldn’t… you know…
Dan on 05/01 at 06:58 AM
Don’t forget the best part of the Bill Murray Lama speach. The whole time he has a pitchfork to the kids neck!
JJ Funtimes on 05/01 at 07:03 AM
Terrible.... 2 or 3 are okay, otherwise I would retitle this the 15 CHEESIEST quotes. If you have to really THINK about where it occurs, it’s not that significant.
MJL on 05/01 at 07:05 AM
Bull Durham:
Ball goes that far it ought to have a damn stewardess on it.
batboy: Get a hit Crash. Crash: Shut up kid.
The rose goes in front big guy.
You couldnt hit water if you fell out of a boat.
Hit the bull.
what do you know about fun, i’ve got a porsche with a qudrophonic blaupunkt.
major League:
berenger: That ball wouldn’t be out of most parks. Sheen: Name one. Berenger: Yellowstone.
slap shot:
(during the national anthem) Quit fighting, they’re playing the song.
Rudy:
QB: It’s just practice and he is treating it like it’s the damn super bowl. Parshegian: And that sums up your entire sorry career at ND.
Caddyshack:
danny: I don’t want to end up working at the lumberyard. Ty: hey, I own a lumberyard. Danny: I notice you don’t spend a lot of time there. Ty: I’m not sure where it is.
The world needs ditchdiggers too Danny.
You must have been something before electricity.
winter rules.
You dont have to do that. This isnt russia. it isn’t russia is it?
I have a pool and a pond. pond would be good for you.
Nick on 05/01 at 07:07 AM
No one got this - can’t believe it:
Major League: “lets cut through the crap Vaugh, I only have one thing to say to you - strike this mother f-er out”
Best sports movie ever - and most quotable.
vic on 05/01 at 07:08 AM
Bull Durham: Never F*@k with a winning streak
Whats our record?
8 - 14.
How’d we ever win 8?
Its a miricle.
Major League:
Dynamite drop in Monty, that broadcasting school is really starting to pay off.
and pretty much everything Uecker said in that movie.
Jake Taylor had a good year in Boston.
Wish we had him 4 years ago.
We did
Well then 6 years ago
mjl on 05/01 at 07:14 AM
czervik: Hey Smales 100 bucks says you slice.
smales: There is wagering at bushwood and I never slice....%$#2!*7
you know what the difference between .250 and .300 is. one hit a week. a bloop, a texas leaguer, a a ground ball with eyes, a dying quail. one hit a week and you are in the show.
hey f*** like he pitches, kind of all over the place
mjl on 05/01 at 07:16 AM
crap. meant to type
there is no wagering at bushwood and i never slice
Patrick on 05/01 at 07:17 AM
Tin Cup: no specific order
1)Someone once said that golf and sex are the only two things that you don’t have to be good at to enjoy.
2)Ride her till she bucks ya, or don’t ride at all.
3)Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!
4)Well what do I do now? I should recommend you work on your short game, but I think you should get drunk.
5)My swing feels like I’m unfolding a lounge chair.
6)Grip it and rip it.
7)Just kick back and let the big dog eat.
8)Who hit that shot
9)Keep shooting pars, asshole! Simms: I’ll take 18 of them, all day long! McAvoy: Do it and I’ll own you.
10)that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.
Mark on 05/01 at 07:17 AM
Rocky - “Cut me Mick”
Bull Durham - “From what I hear, you couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a f… boat” “Ball 4”
Joel on 05/01 at 07:17 AM
You’re out of your element Donnie! or Jesus! You said it man, nobody *#&% with the Jesus. The Big Lebowski was about Bowling. WHy is it not there?
mjl on 05/01 at 07:20 AM
a man has to have enthusiasms. what is it that captures my interest, what is it that brings me joy. Baseball. Man stands at the plate, just him. That is the time for individual achievement. But, when he goes out into the field...he is part...of...a...team.
then Al Capone bashes the guys head in with a giant baseball bat. concede untouchables is not a sports movie.
tom on 05/01 at 07:21 AM
Slapshot
French Canadian Goalie explaining penalties
“You go to box, dey open door, two minutes, you feel shame, then you get free”
TRENT on 05/01 at 07:24 AM
How can you forget the best quote from Rocky 4
Paulie: This is Russia, eh Rock? It dont look so tough.
mjl on 05/01 at 07:24 AM
did you get a free bowl of soup with that hat? but it looks good on you.
golf courses and cemetaries are the biggest wastes of real estate in the world.
you scratched my anchor
Angelo on 05/01 at 07:24 AM
Major League 2 had some great quotes, but I love the manager (Lou) speaking to the team right after things start slowly turning around.
Lou: “Men....we won a game yesterday. If we win today, that’s two in a row. If we win tomorrow, that’s called a winning streak. It has happened before.”
Andy on 05/01 at 07:30 AM
I think the Sandlot should have been higher, but with the best and most used line of all time: “You’re killing me Smalls”
Mike on 05/01 at 07:33 AM
Love the Major League quotes. I liked the one from Varisty Blues:
Billy Bob: If that needle goes anywhere near Wendell’s leg, I swear to God on my mother’s grave I’ll rip your arms off and beat you to death with them!!
josh on 05/01 at 07:37 AM
Brickman:Some guys ice down their arm afetr a big game...some say that heat’s the way to go...but i have discovered the secret...HOT ICE...HOT ICE...I heat up the ice cubes...IT’S THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS…
marc kubicki on 05/01 at 07:38 AM
“slapshot” —here’s to all that hot snatch in FLA!
Kruger on 05/01 at 07:38 AM
You’re forgetting some great old movies.
The Stratton Story:
Monty (Jimmy Stewart) “I think I started my slide a little too soon” and “Oh, no, they’re bunting on him”.
Angels in the Outfield (the 1951 version)
Reporter: “Who’s starting today, Guffy”?
Guffy: (after looking around the clubhouse) “Saul”
Reporter: “Saul???”
Guffy: “Yes, Saul”
It Happens Every Spring starring Ray Milland
Monk: “What’s in the bottle, Kelly”?
King Kelly: “Why, ah, that’s hair tonic”.
mjl on 05/01 at 07:39 AM
Shoeless Joe: The last 2 pitches were high and tight. So where is it going to be?
Graham: low and away or in my ear
Joe: Now he doesn’t want to walk you so look for low and away...but watch out for in your ear
don’t we need a catcher? Not if you get it over the plate we dont
mjl on 05/01 at 07:42 AM
The natural:
Pick me out a winner Bobby.
I wouldn’t bet against me. You’re missing the point, I already have.
Some mistakes you never stop paying for.
Adam on 05/01 at 07:43 AM
Caddyshack - Gambling is illegal at Bushwood and I never slice.
Tom on 05/01 at 07:48 AM
How can SlapShot not be on this list????
Kevin on 05/01 at 07:56 AM
Major League - How’s your wife and my kids?
Kevin on 05/01 at 07:57 AM
“Adianne, I was wonderin’ if you wouldn’t mind marrying me very much?” (Rocky II)
“Condominiums? Never use ‘em.” (Rocky II)
Herb Brooks: “Again.” (Miracle)
Clubber: “Gonna bust you up.”
Rocky: “Go for it.” (Rocky III)
jamie wolfe on 05/01 at 07:59 AM
major league 1 hit thats all we got, 1 goddamn hit. you cant say goddamn on the radio, hell nobodys listening anyway
jamie wolfe on 05/01 at 08:00 AM
anything that flies that far should have a stewardess
hit the fukin bull
chris on 05/01 at 08:01 AM
i couldn’t agree with the for love of the game quote more, BRILLIANT.
Remember the titans +1, make sure they remember, forever, the night they played the titans
Friday night lights, my heart is full
um WILDCATS--Search his jock, im not searching his jock--well then you are off the team--hey no problem im a senior…
major leage +1 where you going meat? about 90 feet
KL on 05/01 at 08:02 AM
What, no NASCAR fans out there?
Days of Thunder
Robert Duvall “He didn’t hit you, he didn’t bump you, he didn’t nudge you. He rubbed you, and rubbin’, son, is racin’”
Dave on 05/01 at 08:03 AM
Dodgeball
Cotton McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe’s shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship match!
Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!
Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the Pyramids of Egypt, I’ve even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something as improbable, as impossible, as what we’ve witnessed here today!
JT on 05/01 at 08:04 AM
How could the golf swing poem from Tin Cup not make it into the list, “… the raw power of a steelworker hands, Arnold Palmer!” or Hoosiers when the referee asks the coach for another player and he says “my team is on the floor” or “I’ll make it” from Hoosiers
Kevin on 05/01 at 08:05 AM
Rocky IV: “If he dies, he dies.”
Happy Gilmore: “Jackass!”
Major League: “No, too high!” What da ya mean too high?” “Who gives a shit, its gone!”
Dunkmeister on 05/01 at 08:06 AM
The best one from Slapshot:
The Hansons: “Dave’s a killer, Dave’s a killer!”
Johnny: “Dave’s a mess”
(In the lockerroom after Killer’s fight with Tim “Dr. Hook” McCracken...not the final game, the one earlier where Reg Dunlap put a bounty on his head!
=============================================
Varsity Blues
Billy Bob: “Ms Davis....You go to prom with me?”
==============================================
Bull Durham
#1) Crash: Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You’ll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy, you’ll be classy. If you win 20 in the show, you can let the fungus grow back and the press will think your colorful. But until you win 20 in the show, it means your a slob.
#2) Skip: Don’t take this the wrong way Millie, but if I catch you in here again you’re banned from the ballpark.
Millie: You can’t ban me from the ballpark cause my daddy donated that new scoreboard, and if you ban me, he might just take it away.
Skip: What do we need a scoreboard for? We haven’t scored any runs all year.
#3) Crash: Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.
#4) Eddy Calvin Laloosh: Hey Skip, you think I need a nickname? I think I need a nickname. The great ones have nicknames—somethin’ like Oil Can or Catfish...[to Millie] What was the one you suggested?
Millie: Pokey!
Ebby: Yeah, what do you think of Pokey?
Skip: You got 3 minutes! (Storms out cursing)
Ebby (to Millie): Time for another quickie!
Millie: Jesus, you got a game to pitch!
Ebby: He said we got 3 minutes!
Jutsy on 05/01 at 08:07 AM
A League of Their Own:
Kid (reading signed card): Wow, “Avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan!”
Dugan: That’s good advice!
John on 05/01 at 08:13 AM
# 13 from Sandlot should’ve been - “You play ball like a girl”
Matt on 05/01 at 08:18 AM
Ray, people will come Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won’t mind if you look around, you’ll say. It’s only $20 per person. They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they’ll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they’ll watch the game and it’ll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.
Dennis Merdich on 05/01 at 08:18 AM
Major League-1
Vaughn: I feel like a banker in this.
Taylor: Sorry rick, house rules
Hayes: what language is this
taylor: french
Vaughn: they got chili dogs here.
Hayes: what you lookin at
Vaughn: what the chick
Taylor: No thats my wife.
Hayes: Does she know that.
Taylor: No , I mean she would have been if I wouldn’t have screwed things up. Who’s that guy she’s with.
Hayes: Don’t know he’s not wearing a name tag
Vaughn: Want me to drag him outta here, Kick the Shit out of him
Caddy Shack best line ever.
cverik: Can you make a bull shark?
Bartender: Can you make a shoe smell?
cverik: Ha Ha very funny, what time you due back in boys town.
Mark on 05/01 at 08:23 AM
A League of their Own: Anyone ever tell you you look like a penis with a hat on
bull on 05/01 at 08:26 AM
Your killin me Diaz...Miracle...."AGAIN"
Bull Durham...."I am the player to be named later”
Cochise Alleigh on 05/01 at 08:28 AM
Hot Dog....The movie: “What the f*ck is the Chinese downhill?”
lenny on 05/01 at 08:30 AM
the lama story in caddyshack
“Smells like varmint puntang, the only good varmint puntang is dead varmint puntang, i think” also caddyshack
“F-in machine took my quarter” slapshot
Anything Bill Murray says in Kingpin
Mark on 05/01 at 08:30 AM
Bets line in “Bull Durham” is the very first--"I belong to the church of baseball.”
K Ritt on 05/01 at 08:41 AM
Major League: Saw you wife out last night. Hell of a dancer. And who was that guy she was with? Im sure he is a close personal friend,....but what was he doing with her panties on his head?
K Ritt on 05/01 at 08:43 AM
Major League: Saw your wife out last night. Hell of a dancer. And who was that guys she was with? Im sure he is a close personal friend,...but what was he doing with her panties on his head?
Len on 05/01 at 08:46 AM
Miracle not on the list…
Great moments are born from great opportunity. That’s what you have here tonight boys. That’s what you’ve earned here tonight. 1 game. If we played em 10 times they might win 9, but not this game. Not tonight. Tonight we skate with them, tonight we stay with them and tonight we SHUT THEM DOWN BECAUSE WE CAN! Tonight we are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were all born to be hockey players. You were all meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It’s over. I am sick and tired of hearin about what a good hockey team the Soviets have. SCREW EM! This is your time, now go out there and take it.
Mad Love on 05/01 at 08:47 AM
You guys rock the most! Thanks for reading.
Love the Wildcats reference by the way. One of my all-time faves for sure!
Hobbes on 05/01 at 08:50 AM
From Slap Shot: “I’m gonna wiggle it at ‘em, I’m gonna wiggle it. And when I do, every woman in that audience with the exception of my wife is gonna go runnin’ for the exit. You know why, bacuase I want you to have a heart attack and die”.
or
“Hey Ogie, buy you a soda after the game”?
or
“We’ll straighten you out, you little prick.”
or “Dunlop, you suck *$#?!
You get the point.
jeff on 05/01 at 08:51 AM
from Sandlot, in Smalls dream about The Babe:
“Remember kid, there’s heroes and there’s legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you’ll never go wrong.”
Kenny on 05/01 at 08:51 AM
Nothing from King Pin or Dead Solid Perfect?
Derek Sutton on 05/01 at 08:56 AM
From Youngblood:
“Thank God, there is still a sport for middle-sized white boys.”
“Only thing better than a glass of beer is tea with Ms. McGill!”
ryan on 05/01 at 08:56 AM
“this is our pond” - mystery alaska
lots of good quotes from for love of the game
and yes the terrance mann quote from field of dreams should definitely be #1 on this list
dashatz on 05/01 at 08:57 AM
Major League: “are you trying to tell me that Jesus Christ can’t hit a curve ball?… up your butt, JoBo”
Richard on 05/01 at 09:02 AM
This list is pathetic. I’ve got a few additions:
“All right! God knows we have a game!” - Jimmy Dugan
“May, you think there are men in this country that ain’t seen your bosoms?”
“By the way, I liked you in the Wizard of Oz.”
“If we paid you a little more Jimmy, could you be just a little more disgusting?"..."Well I could certainly use the money.”
“Wow...avoid the clap, Jimmy Dugan...wow!!!"..."That’s good advice!”
“And he’s out by an eyelash at third. Personally, I think we got hosed on that call.”
“This is your Bar-Mitzvah Goldberg. Today you become a man.” - Gordon Bombay
“You have no...MARBLES!!!”
“F@(*# you Jobu. I do it myself”
“You’re killing me Smalls.”
“You play ball like a girl!”
“I rubbed him...rubbin’s racing.”
“What happened Willie, you forgot your invisible juice?”
dave on 05/01 at 09:04 AM
Caddyshack--- How about a fresca?! also… you are a good boy, a good caddy, somethng to be proud of…
Johnny Utah on 05/01 at 09:05 AM
The Replacements:
I want to say something profound, but that wouldn’t be us. Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory....lasts forever.
Freddy Owens on 05/01 at 09:05 AM
Remember the Titans
“...I want then to remember forever the night they played the Titans”
“Run it up Herman, leave no doubt!”
And how you leave out from Bull Durham
“He f**ks kinda like he throws, all over the place!”
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 09:08 AM
Hey icebox, you look like a boy and play like a boy, but do you pee standing up? Nah, she’s hot to trot but she’s still gotta squat.
Giants! Giants! Help us God!
What are those?
Cheetos.
Crunchy or puffed?
Puffed.
Wimp…
Sam on 05/01 at 09:11 AM
“I think he broke his fuckin’ neck!"---The broadcaster in ‘The Longest Yard’
“Victorie!, Victorie!, Victorie!"---the crowd at the end of ‘Victory’
matt on 05/01 at 09:12 AM
tin cup.....little gust there romes...i nutted that thing i mean i nutted it...i kinda shanked that one....can i have a mulligan?
major league...who’s that guy she’s with...i dunno he’s not wearing a name tag....want me to drag him outta here kick the shit outta him
rook on 05/01 at 09:15 AM
Tin Cup:
Romeo to a passed out Roy McAvoy-
“Here’s to the finely tuned athlete on the verge of greatness”
BB on 05/01 at 09:24 AM
“A League of Their Own”
“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great.”—Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks)
Jeff on 05/01 at 09:30 AM
If you consider figure skating a sport (I don’t), then this quote would be a great one. Will Ferrell is hilarious in this.
Chazz: [Referring to his program] I hope you’ve brought your silver polish, MacElroy, ‘cause that was gold.
Jimmy: That was disgusting.
Chazz: THAT, young man, is how babies are made.
bob on 05/01 at 09:35 AM
“Ray. People will come, Ray. They’ll come to Iowa for reasons they can’t even fathom. They’ll turn up your driveway, not knowing for sure why they’re doing it. They’ll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for their past. ‘Of course, we won’t mind if you look around,’ you’ll say. ‘It’s only $20 per person.’ They’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it. For it is money they have and peace they like. Then they’ll walk out to the bleachers and sit in their shirt sleeves on a perfect afternoon. They’ll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes, and they’ll watch the game, and it will be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they’ll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come, Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball...has marked the time. This field, this game. It’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. Oh, people will come, Ray. People will most definitely come.”
John on 05/01 at 09:44 AM
The Waterboy
Oh No We suck again!
Nick on 05/01 at 09:47 AM
What about the perhaps the greatest comedy of all time related to sports “SLAPSHOT”. Among my fav lines—Paul Newman about the Hanson Brothers “ Those guys are a bunch of f****n’ retards”. Or one of the other characters on the Chiefs don’t remember his name but he said “I called his wife a dike ..... F*** “ or the owner of the Chiefs yelling at the team.... “WE’RE LOOOOOOOOSING !!!!” You guys are playing like a bunch of sissies !!!! “
Kevin on 05/01 at 09:49 AM
“Your momma’s an astronaut”
jeff douglas on 05/01 at 09:50 AM
“I’ll make it”
-Hoosiers
Dan on 05/01 at 09:57 AM
Let us not forget the dinner party in Major League:
Male Guest: So, Mr. Taylor, what do you do?
Jake Taylor: I’m a professional baseball player.
Female Guest: Oh! I didn’t know we had a team.
Jake: Oh yeah. We have uniforms and everything.
FG: I hear baseball players make a great deal of money.
Jake: Well, that depends on how good you are.
FG: So… how good are you?
Jake: ...I make the league minimum.
Ted on 05/01 at 09:58 AM
Some decent ones, but who was the dude who wanted Waterboy quoted? Seriously dude. Anyway, all of Caddyshack is a quote, but my favorite:
Ty: I like you Betty.
Danny: It’s Danny sir.
Ty: Danny.
Simple and hilarious
ty on 05/01 at 10:00 AM
Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!
Larry: Lollygaggers!
Skip: Lollygaggers.
Liva14 on 05/01 at 10:01 AM
Caddyshack: “Be the ball” and my favorite: when they try and psyche Danny out by saying “Noonan” every time he lines up a putt.
Tom on 05/01 at 10:16 AM
Can’t leave out Jimmy Chitwood from “Hoosiers”;
“I’ll make it.”
Bob on 05/01 at 10:17 AM
You all forgot the OTHER Bill Murray sports movie…
Sure, Mohawk has beaten us 10 years in a row. Sure, they’re terrific athletes. They have the best equipment available. Hell, every team they’re sending here has their own personal masseuse. Not masseur. Masseuse. But it doesn’t matter. Do you know that every Mohawk competitor has an electrocardiogram, blood and urine tests every 3 hours to see if there’s any change in his physical condition?
Do you know that they use the most sophisticated training methods from the Soviet Union, East and West Germany and the newest Olympic power, Trinidad-Tobago? But it doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t matter! I tell you, it just doesn’t matter!
Even! Even if we win! If we win! Ha! Even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days, even if God in heaven above comes down and points His hand at our side of the field, even if every man, woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn’t matter because all the really good-looking girls would still go out with a guy from Mohawk’cause they got all the money!
Coscaram on 05/01 at 10:21 AM
Major League:
Jake: There’s a few parks that that hit wouldn’t have gone out of.
Rick: Name one.
Jake: Yosimite
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 10:22 AM
Al Czervik
-Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dogfood. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? I tell you, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it.
-Oh, this your wife, huh? Ooh a lovely lady. Hey baby, you’re all right. You must’ve been something before electricity, huh?
-Hey loosen up will ya? You’re a lotta woman, you know that? Hey you want to make 14 dollars the hard way?
-I tell ya, I shoulda stayed home and played with myself.
-That kangaroo stole my ball!
Judge Smails
-Weeeeell, we’re waiting! (My Dad’s favorite)
Carl Spackler
-Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts.
-Wait up, girls. I’ve got a salami I’ve got to hide.
RAY on 05/01 at 10:25 AM
Caddyshack
I’d play through. I don’t think the heavy stuff’s going to come down for a while.
In the driving rainstorm with the priest and Bill Murray
Shorty on 05/01 at 10:28 AM
From Major League:
One GD hit. You can’t say GD on the radio> Who gives a sh!t nobodys listening anyway.
From Days of Thunder:
After they were trying to get a sponsor and had the brawl amongst the team in the pits. “I look down there and we look like a bunch of monkeys
f-ing a football.”
From Talladega Nights:
When he shoot Jamie McMurray the bird. “It’s real nice, got it at Target, it was on sale.”
k on 05/01 at 10:30 AM
Tom cruise hitting infield during A Few good Men: Your odds of catching the ball increase dramatically if you keep your eyes open
Tommy Boy on 05/01 at 10:32 AM
Junior: I see pride. I see power. I see a bad ass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody.
Yul: AGAIN!
Robobop on 05/01 at 10:42 AM
From ‘The Karate Kid’:
‘Put him in a body bag!!!’
TJ on 05/01 at 10:59 AM
“You’ll get nothing and like it.”
wasting time at work on 05/01 at 11:12 AM
The Longest Yard - I think I broke his fucken neck!
M*A*S*H (during the football game) Hotlips yells “Oh My God, they’ve shot him!” The colonel replies “Hot-Lips, you incredible Nincompoop, it’s the end of the quarter.” Also the cheerleaders cheer “Sixty nine is divine! Sixty nine is divine!”
mark on 05/01 at 11:19 AM
From Bull Durham
Don’t think meat just throw, don’t think just throw.
marty on 05/01 at 11:22 AM
KingPin
Q: “How’s life?”
A: “Taking forever.”
mark on 05/01 at 11:44 AM
What about “Nice catch. Don’t ever f’n do it again.” from Major League?
Sparticus on 05/01 at 11:46 AM
MEATBALLS: Bill Murray pep talk
It just doesnt matter (repeated several times) But even...even if we win..Ha, even if we play so far over our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days...even if God from heaven above comes down to our side of the field...even if every man, woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win...It just wouldnt matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mowhawk cuz they got all the money. It just doesnt matter if we win or we lose
pa on 05/01 at 11:47 AM
A League of Their Own
Jimmy to Mrs. Cutworth - by the way, I loved you in the Wizard of Oz
Jacob on 05/01 at 11:49 AM
Caddyshack:
“$1000 bucks says you slice.”
“Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, and I never slice”
Quotes should be quoted, most of these speeches are so long you can’t quote more than a line before you lose interest. Great sports movie list though.
Jumain on 05/01 at 11:52 AM
THIS IS NOT NAM, THERE ARE RULES!!
Benjamin on 05/01 at 12:10 PM
Morris Buttermaker:
Baseball’s hard. You can love it but, believe me, it don’t always love you back. It’s kinda like dating a German chick.
Mark on 05/01 at 12:11 PM
More from Tin Cup
1) You can’t ask advice about the woman you’re trying to hose from the woman you’re trying to hose.
2) I’ll call the INS on you, ya little midget.
3) Why do guys insist on measuring their dicks?
4) Let’s see. A little wind, left to right....I highly recommend the shovel.
5) Can I have a mulligan?
6) A little nod to the gods…
7) There’s no such thing as semi-plutonic, Roy.
8) You the man, Roy. The man needs a ride home.
9) My inner child needs a spankin’.
10) Hey what do you think my best shot was..... was it 7 iron on 4? Or was it 7 iron on 15?…
11) Get your hands off her ass, Roy.
12) One ball...One swing...One pelican
13) It won’t always be like this, you know? What? With me surrounded by all these guys, snoring… stripper ex-girlfriend laying across from us… caddy sleeping next to her. It won’t always be like this. Yes, it will.
14) Am I special? Well, if you can remove the sexual overtones and add a golf theme, then Romeo, I am your Juliet.
Tye on 05/01 at 01:02 PM
Major League is probably the most quotable movie ever.
“Too High, too high”
“I say f*** you Jobu, I do it myself”
NRK on 05/01 at 01:15 PM
Miracle: “The name on the front is a hell of a lot more important than the one on the back” - Herb Brooks
Remember the Titans: “Attitude reflects leadership, Captain.” - Julius
eric on 05/01 at 01:55 PM
A League of There Own when Dugan signs the ball for the two kids. The one kid reads it - “Avoid the clap Jimmy Dugan.” “That’s good advice,” Dugan replies.
coach tj troup on 05/01 at 02:12 PM
as costner shaves..."they’re kids, scare ‘em"”
rohan on 05/01 at 02:15 PM
ATTITUDE REFLECT LEADERSHIP CAPTAIN
REMEMBER THE TITANS
Snake on 05/01 at 02:31 PM
Take her to the zoo.
the wizard on 05/01 at 02:32 PM
A league of their own- jimmy dugan “Start using your head. That’s the lump that’s three feet above your ass.”
Matt G on 05/01 at 02:58 PM
Slapshot needs to be on this list:
“Dickie Dunn wrote that, it must be true!”
“We’ll go down to the Aces!”
“Hey, Reg when are you gonna get the Power Play together?” “Yeah we’ll work on it.”
Jane on 05/01 at 03:03 PM
Remember the Titans: LEFT SIDE...STRONG SIDE!
Cool Runnings: Feel the rhythm, feel the rhym, get on up its bobsled time, cool runnings!!!!
rob on 05/01 at 03:24 PM
An often quoted line from Major League with my dad and me:
“This guy’s dead.”
“Well cross him off then.”
lesterclan on 05/01 at 03:51 PM
“Coach...all the way up with a red hot poker!”
Robbie Benson to Basketball coach who finally offered him a scholarship, One on One
“You think you can win on talent alone? Gentlemen, you don’t have enough talent to win on talent alone!”
Kurt Russel (Herb Brooks), Miracle
j.v. on 05/01 at 03:55 PM
caddyshack “hey! That kangaroo stole my golf ball.”
shoebro on 05/01 at 04:04 PM
Sandlot: You play ball like a girl.
Where have you guys been? Ah, Smalls was pervin’ a dish.
Craig on 05/01 at 04:09 PM
Come on! Look, I don’t have these movies memorized ... if I had memorized them I suppose “I could been a contender!” but where are the classics? The Bad News Bears. The Hustler. The Marx Brothers classic football scene ... or even their Night at The Opera when the orchestra plays “Take me out to the ballgame” ... sheesh. Rudy, please.
gooch on 05/01 at 04:11 PM
Leaving Slapshot off the list is a travesty. The best sports movie, with some of the best quotes ever.
aj on 05/01 at 04:19 PM
Another Tin Cup:
Roy, after his 5th ball in the lake, pleading: “Ive got this shot Romes.”
Romeo: “Well then hit it!”
hank on 05/01 at 04:27 PM
Remember the Titans:
Coach Yoast - “I’m worried about my boys”
Coach Boone’s reply - “Well I aint’t gonna cook em and eat em, the best players will play”
Justin King on 05/01 at 04:33 PM
From Bull Durham:
Crash: O ya from what i hear i hear you couldnt hit water if you fell out of a f**king boat
NDHWN on 05/01 at 04:43 PM
Not a sports movie, but I always thought that the lacrosse speech from American Pie was funny:
“Today marks the culmination of the past four years.”
“Culmination...”
and
“You don’t score...until you score”
“Until you score...”
zip on 05/01 at 04:43 PM
bull durham: throw that shit meat!!!
hank on 05/01 at 04:43 PM
Major League: Manager Lou Brown
“I’m not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I’d just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think that we’d save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I’m for wasting sportswriters’ time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give ‘em all a nice big shitburger to eat!”
Daewoo10356 on 05/01 at 05:16 PM
How about the replacements
Clifford Franklin, “I better not see a cop if I see a cop I will whoop a cop’s ass”
Danny Bateman, “I’m a cop”
Clifford Franklin, “Look Bunt Cake”
Mike on 05/01 at 05:17 PM
How about The Program: “Darnell Jefferson, tailback...Ray Griffen, STARTING tailback”
Larry on 05/01 at 05:18 PM
“I don’t feel so good...I think I swallowed a finger."--Necessary Roughness
“You know, Danny, I’ve sent boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t WANT to do it; felt I OWED it to ‘em."--Caddyshack
“This is the worst lookin’ hat ever...I bet you buy this hat, you get a free bowl of soup. Looks good on YOU though!"--Caddyshack
(On the Hansen Brothers)--"They’re f**ckin’ horrible lookin’!"--Slapshot
“Puttin’ on the foil, Coach!” “Yeah, every game!” “Want some?!"--Slapshot
“Ya see, the way it works is...the train moves, not the station."--League of Their Own
“If I had YOUR job, I’d kill myself!"--League of Their Own
“Good speed.” “Sounded like it."--Major League
“Look at THIS fu**in’ guy!"--Major League
“I believe y’all are innocent. I’m not just sayin’ that. I feel a lotta love on this field."--Necessary Roughness
Daewoo10356 on 05/01 at 05:20 PM
Manu the Slender, “Where I come from we are taught to respect our elders”
Paul Blake. “I am no that eld”
Larry on 05/01 at 05:20 PM
“You smell like urine!” “A lot???"--Blades of Glory
kennyb on 05/01 at 05:21 PM
best line from Dodgeball:
Too bad Hallmark doesn’t make a “Sorry your dodgeball coach got killed by two tons of irony” card.
KennyB on 05/01 at 05:23 PM
Caddyshack:
you do drugs Danny?
Everyday..
Good, then whats the problem?
Daewoo10356 on 05/01 at 05:23 PM
Ricky Boby, “Please be eighteen”
Daewoo10356 on 05/01 at 05:25 PM
Bob Uecker, “Clew Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories including nose hair”
KennyB on 05/01 at 05:26 PM
Bad News Bears:
Tanner Boyle: Jews, spicks, niggers and a whop that throws airballs
Puts on 05/01 at 05:32 PM
Hoosiers
Stick with your man. Think of him as chewing gum. By the end of the game, I want you to know what flavor he is
Flarbas on 05/01 at 05:33 PM
Elmo: “It ain’t the six minutes… it’s what happens in that six minutes.”
miked on 05/01 at 05:47 PM
White Men Can’t Jump:
“Sometimes when you win, you lose, there are eight foods that begin with “Q” and there’s a difference between listening to Jimi Hendrix and hearing Jimi Hendrix.”
Nevyn on 05/01 at 06:13 PM
Missed a caddyshack line ending in “ ... so I got that goin for me”.
There was also a good line in the little known Cobb movie “Mr Cobb, you hit .400 a bunch a times, one of the greatest hitters of all time, so what makes you say you’d only hit .270 against today’s pitchers?
Cos I’m seventy fucking years old .....”
Ross on 05/01 at 06:49 PM
Though Major League is chock full of brilliant lines, everything Bob Uecker says and does (the Jack Daniels bottle, cutting his color man’s mic) is what really makes the movie a true classic. And seeing as how almost every great sports movie line has been said already, the only additions I have are from The Program:
1. Bud “Lite” Kaminski singing “Get along little doggies...” while blocking
2. Alvin’s Tutor: “Which two city-states fought in the Punic Wars?”
Alvin Mack: “I dunno, Detroit and Buffalo?”
3. Alvin Mack during game-film slide show when asked what his defensive assignments are for various Mississippi State offensive sets: “Kill the quarterback,” (next slide), “Hit the tight end so hard his girlfriend dies,” (next slide), “Kill everybody.”
BPL92 on 05/01 at 06:54 PM
Kingpin:
Three-Fifty. That’s a Landau roof & power steering - down the drain. Could be in your pocket right now.
And who are you, Alfred Einstein?
Are you sure this is legal?
I don’t know. But it sure is fun.
Oh yeah, I’m a priest like you’re a dictionary salesman.
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